Posts

Showing posts from February, 2017

Suicidal thoughts

1 3th February 2015, I went into the operating room pregnant and with intestinal obstruction, merkels' diverticulum and peritonitis. 13th February I went into the operating room with a feeling that I wouldn't come out alive. I've never told anyone this but while being operated on, I don't know whether I was haluscinating (maybe people dream or halluscinate during surgery) but I dreamt I was in a maze and I was trying to find my way out. I kept running and would get to dead ends and I started calling for help out of frustration, with the walls closing in on me, I squatted and hugged my knees and started to mumble that the Lord should please help me and I didn't want to go. I suddenly woke up and found myself in the recovery room. I suddenly realised that I had survived and my unborn child (Giovanni) at the time also survived. I didn't tell anyone about this dream because I thought it was just craziness and probably hallucination due to the medications. 22nd