The Second Child

I'm Pregnant!

Pregnant... with worry and thinking things over. I got you there for a second! Ahahahahaha!

Shame on you for thinking otherwise!

Now I have your attention, I want to talk about special mamas and having another child. Having a another child is a constant battle in one's head, especially when you have your first child that has addtional/special needs.

People talk a lot and also have all sorts of reasons for the whys and when you should do it, but at the end of the day it is completely up to you.

It's a scary road, thinking of trying again, will I get pregnant? do I want another child? What if I have another child with special needs? Can I cope? Am I mentally and physically ready for another rug rat?

Societal Pressure

Pressure pressure pressure! Well I don't feel pressure but people seem to be asking me when the next one is coming. When the next what? Train? Bus? lol Allow me to be sarcastic for a moment. When you give birth, after six months of pushing your brains out, friends and family start to ask when you're going to bring another child into this world.Whaaaaaaaaaat?  I never really get offended to be honest. In fact I have all the patience in the world to answer that question and what's more I appreciate the concern. But really, isn't that MY decision? People think I'm afraid to give birth because maybe I think I may have another child with the same conditions as Giovanni. Well, that's debatable; in the sense that I'm cetainly not afraid of having another child like Giovanni because I would be grateful to God no matter what, but afraid probably because I would not want that child to suffer as I see how Giovanni battles with his conditions every day and the constant hospital visit, I mean just a cold is like World War 3 and possible admission in the hospital. I feel more sorry for the child than for myself.

Being Pregnant

Pregnancy is not easy and I believe every woman can relate to this. I had a difficult pregnancy and I believe that's the only fear I really have. The morning sickness, chosing a doctor ( a good one- I cannot stress more on this), contemplating on whether we made the right choice, the agonizing pre-natal visits in terms of long queues, injections (Lord knows how I feel about needles), the pushing (YES the pushing!) or the C section (process and recovery). It's pretty mind blowing to give up your body for someone to live in it for 9 months, push the baby out or be cut up for the baby to come out.lol It's a very violent process to the body, and my only wish is people appreciate the birthing process a little more than they do. It's a huge sacrifice not everyone is willing to make. And that's totally okay. As a women you have that choice (well technically you do, socially is a whole other debate).

How the First Child will Cope
I think what I fear most is the whole process for Giovanni. How will I be able to balance it all out and make sure Giovanni is receiving the attention and care he needs for the first few months of the new baby's arrival. How I love my son to bits!!! Will I be able to share this love with the new born? Will I be able to be sympathetic towards the new child just as I am with Giovanni. My patience for children with special needs is huge, but my patience for children with no special needs is like road rage in Ghana traffic.

I think having another child should be your decision and nobody else's. One can never be truly ready for another child, from what I have witnessed with others. So from one special mama to another special mama, if you're considering having another child, don't be afraid! 

Oh and by the way, I'm not pregnant :) .