The Nanny Conundrum

26!... 26!  This kept playing over and over in my head. Has it really been that many? Did I loose count? As I sat to listen to my nanny tell me she is leaving that evening, and my mind went blank for a bit, then I told her thank you for her services and dismissed her. I was too tired and too dazed to wonder why she was leaving, it was always the same excuses anyway: too little pay, long hours, Giovanni is too heavy, a misunderstanding perhaps, they just can't do the job, their back hurts, I could go on and on.  I decided to sit down and with my fingers I started mentioning the names of each nanny, carer that has ever looked after our son. 26. A whooping 26, ladies and gentlemen! Now people will have mixed feelings about who is to blame, yes there were misunderstandings in some cases, others were sacked and some left because they simply couldn't handle it. 26 ladies; young and middle-aged have passed through this house.  I'm very particular about nannies and carers s

The Second Child

I'm Pregnant! Pregnant... with worry and thinking things over. I got you there for a second! Ahahahahaha! Shame on you for thinking otherwise! Now I have your attention, I want to talk about special mamas and having another child. Having a another child is a constant battle in one's head, especially when you have your first child that has addtional/special needs. People talk a lot and also have all sorts of reasons for the whys and when you should do it, but at the end of the day it is completely up to you. It's a scary road, thinking of trying again, will I get pregnant? do I want another child? What if I have another child with special needs? Can I cope? Am I mentally and physically ready for another rug rat? Societal Pressure Pressure pressure pressure! Well I don't feel pressure but people seem to be asking me when the next one is coming. When the next what? Train? Bus? lol Allow me to be sarcastic for a moment. When you give birth, after six

Pondering Over the 3 Years

Today we Celebrate Giovanni for Turning 3 !!! It has not been easy: full of ups and downs, high and lows, joy and sadness, excitement and depression. We've had our bad days and our good days, all the same I still wouldn't change it for the world. I wake up every morning and while Gio is sleeping I admire him: sweet; innocent, couldn't harm a fly and most of all BLESSED! He's been such a blessing to me! We have experienced so much grace because of this little boy of ours. Experiencing that Mother-Son bond has made me speak out for the rights of my child and other children alike. I've become a real mama bear, ready to fight for him and protect him from any stigma or nay sayers. The passed three years and in fact even during my pregnancy, I've learned a lot:  Give Thanks I think we all go through the why me phase when something bad happens to us. I have learned to give thanks to God regardless of the situation. I used to cry a lot the first 6

Invisible Boundaries...

 Access to Public Spaces for Persons with Disabilities    I call this piece, invisible boundaries, for the simple fact that I never really used to think about access until my son was born and diagnosed with microcephaly and cerebral palsy. It wasn't a problem for me so I never thought about it.  As selfish as this seems, it's the mind set of most people: until it happens to you, you won't see.  There is an existing boundary but it's invisible to you because it doesn't affect you in any shape or form. I went to a little chapel in Accra the other day and saw this (a man in a wheelchair right at the door, and couldn’t get in due to one step- blocking him from having fellowship and feeling part of the community) and as I walked in I had to take a few steps back and capture this. I wanted to help him, but once we got over that step there was nowhere to place the wheelchair but right in front by the alter, and I doubted he wanted to sit there, an

Self Liberation

***I am Not Perfect, in Fact I'm Far From It *** Being a special needs mother has taught me a lot and I would like to encourage other mothers to keep going. It's sad to see a mother fed up, discouraged, dishevelled and drained. I always come across a few and I also get down sometimes but it never lasts long. I always want to portray positivity and good energy.  A few tips I would like to share that I have learned and I'm still learning through this journey of being a mum to a child with special needs, and I hope it will encourage all other mothers out there who feel discouraged, worn out or neglected.  Be at Peace With Your Situation The first thing is to accept your child's condition. It's not easy at the beginning but with the right support, it should be ok. People think accepting the condition means you've given up on God. It simply means you are at peace with yourself and your situation and you've left it in the hands of God. I know people t

When Gifts Come Wrapped Differently

I don't think I've ever taken the time to discuss the mini challenges we face as a family with a child with cerebral palsy and these things may seem trivial to others but they are actually things we have to put a lot of thought into. The things you probably do not have to think twice about every morning, is a full blown migraine for some of us. So I'm about to share the nitty gritty stuff, the tips may help you understand life with a child with special needs and maybe even push you to be a little proactive: Birthdays This is usually a no brainer for most parents with regular kids, but for us special parents especially in a developing country, organising birthdays can be a huge challenge. In my case, doing a party with loud music and older kids running around is a huge no no. The loud music can cause seizures and make Giovanni very uncomfortable. Bouncy castles won't be beneficial to him but only guests. He basically won't enjoy himself. He however like

Jumping hurdles, falling down, getting back up

I am part of a group called the Special Mothers Project. It's a support group for parents who have children with cerebral palsy. The name stems from the fact that it started out as only mothers, but gradually the fathers have also come on board. We have a whatsapp group where we have a total of 67 parents that have children with cerebral palsy, we keep increasing in number. Gathering from my experience and the experiences of other parents on this group that I have met and spoken with, these are some of the many challenges that parents of children with cerebral palsy face: Some special mothers at TV3 Station presenting a petition to goverment to pay more attention to children with cerebral palsy and their families Stigma STIgma STIGMA (community and church) I recently shared a story on my facebook wall about a lady who has 4 children with special needs who is struggling financially and emotionally. Her community have decided to ostracise her, called her a witch and b