Fear of the unknown

When a mother gives birth, the new born baby is a joy to see and it's a blessing to have kids. Having a special needs child I believe is more than a blessing, it's a privilege, they are God sent. Just like everybody else, but even more so, they are here for a purpose and a specific calling: to influence the lives of others, to touch people and in a different way. They are truly, God's jewels. God's special gifts. They tend to be very fragile both emotionally and physically. Which means if they fall sick, it can be very serious.

Giovanni has been sick for the passed few weeks. You see it's very different when a special needs child falls sick. They are more fragile and sometimes more prone to infection, this means when Giovanni gets sick, he gets really really sick and trust me it isn't great. I wish people would just wash their hands before touching babies? I mean you've come to visit Giovanni and you're from church, you have shaken a few hands hugged a few people. Wouldn't it be awesome to get all those germs off by washing your hands? It's these little things that sometimes trigger infections like the flu for example. And when Giovanni catches the flu, it's really terrible. People get offended when I tell them to wash their hands. Or maybe someone wants to visit and I ask whether the person is sick or has a cold because I know Giovanni like any other baby could catch it. People get offended or think I'm being too fussy,but if they knew what happens when this boy just has a common flu, they would do it no questions asked. For my baby I think I will continue to ask people politely to wash their hands. Afterall it's for a good cause. I believe as parents, so far we have done our best in protecting him from infections, but I guess there is so much we can do.

Giovanni taking an EEG test

Anyway, because of some of these things, we are at the hospital at least once a week and only been on admission in Ghana once (we thank God for that anyway). Regardless of him getting sick often, Giovanni is a fighter, what a spirit!

Is this boy getting heavy or what? Giovanni has grown out of his baby carrier, and putting him on my back is a struggle. He actually fights with me when I try and put him there. I have to carry Giovanni everywhere I go, luckily I just found a baby carrier that can take his weight up to about 23kilos which isn't bad. It's been ordered but yet to try it out. Fear of the future, why? Because I am wondering whether I have a back strong enough to keep carrying my darling until he can walk. I know once we get the carrier maybe things would be easier. We even have to change his car seat as he has outgrown it too. I also fear the future because most of the CP kids I see are thin. Giovanni is petty big and to be frank when you see him for the first time you would't think there is anything wrong. It is only later that you realise he doesn't move much and then you begin to wonder.

Giovanni is soon due for a check up, this time round he is much bigger. I know somewhere along the way we will be exhausted during the trip. It isn't a direct flight either.

I do get tired, and my back does hurt, but after a little power nap and a back rub I'm good to go again. I honestly think it's also the motivation and positive attitude, knowing that he feels secure with me and carrying him is not something I should worry about.


On 20th June Giovanni turned one. How amazing is that? No noisy party, or bouncy castle or loud music or children running around, just two lovely cakes and his cousins, some party hats and minor decor and we were good to go. Of course he didn't know what was going on, he's too young to know, but he could feel the love emanating from us. His cousins gave him several kisses and he enjoyed it. We sang happy birthday, which he also appreciated. Giovanni enjoys love and you know when he feels loved. He doesn't smile much but the serenity on his face is enough to show how he feels.






I do fear for the future, whether people will be nice to Giovanni, what school he will go to, whether he will have good friends, whether he will have any friends at all, whether he'll have a sociallife, whether he will be loved, the way I love him, whether people won't treat him differently just because they think or feel he is different, whether he will be able to express himself in joy, pain and sadness,  whether he will be independent, whether whether whether. Fear of the unknown. What can I say...
The doctors have said a lot but I know at the end of the day it's all up to the Oga (Big man) at the top! 

I will try and publish another story before we go for check up.

Yours truly