The Church and Disability (Part 1)

"Dear Giovanni, the world is a cruel cruel place. I don't know how we ended up here. People killing each other, rape, defilement, nannies maltreating children...how did we get here? Our very own leaders my love, they talk anyhow forgetting millions are listening to them and heed to their advice. I was just listening to Melodies FM that is 94.3FM, Pastor Dag Heward-Mills Head Pastor of Lighthouse Chapel International  was preaching about tithing and made reference to the song 'Old ragged cross', the line 'the dearest and best ' and said only the dearest and best will be pastors and not people with hydrocephalus or Down's syndrome and people in the congregation cheered on, laughing. How can you preach such nonsense? This is the type of thing that brings stigma with people with conditions that are no fault of theirs. He referred to people with hydrocephalus as water heads and all they have in their heads is water, how can an educated man that people look up to preach such a thing and bring stigma to people who have special conditions? My son has microcephaly a small head AND hydrocephalus, is Pastor Dag Heward Mills going to tell me my son cannot become a pastor or whatever he wants to be in the future because of his small head? I'm actually in my car crying because I'm afraid for my son and all other children with rare conditions that will grow up in a society full of stigma all because are very own educated leaders are preaching crap! Nobody should come and comment if you don't have anything good to say and nobody should come and defend the pastor. I listened to the preaching myself today from 4.10pm to 4.30pm. It's still on as we speak. But I'm going to switch the radio off right now, since we cannot look up to our very own leaders to wipe out stigma. What kind of stigmatized society do we live in? What is the future of our children? And our children with untreatable conditions? Disappointed in the preaching and the misinterpretation of a very beautiful Christian song my grandmother always used to sing, ' on a hill far away stood an old ragged cross...'. Disappointed in the society we live in, full of stigma and clumsy preaching. Giovanni this is the kind of society we live in,it looks down on people who aren't 'normal', it discriminates and abuses the vulnerable. It's a shame society does not know the worth of someone like you or any other child that has a condition. You are so full of love and cuddles."

I wrote this piece last year in May 2016 when I heard a disheartening and horrible preaching from a well-known pastor in Ghana who was preaching about a lady that had a number of children, and one child had a condition and that was the child she wanted to enrol at his Pastoral school.  In his preaching the pastor said 'only the dearest and best" should attend his pastoral school. Now don't seem shocked or surprised by the words I used then. I was very upset and I believe some of you might have done worse in my position.This post is not to argue neither is it to name or shame, it's simply to shed light on the influence religious leaders have in our society.

I was diapppointed when I heard the kinds of things this particular man of God said about children with special needs, to be more specific children with Down's syndrome and hydrocephalus. I will never forget it. And I think I've gone to school enough to understand his preaching and what he meant, so please I don't need a lecture on that. You can just imagine how angry I felt, and like any other mother would do, I defended my child. In my anger and despair, I took to Facebook in tears and expressed my disagreement with what he said and what did I get in return? People bashing me, defending the pastor and asking me whether I heard right and maybe I took his words out of context. Didn't I go to school? Didn't I do listening comprehension? Why are we so quick to defend everything pastors say? And so quick to say "touch not my anointed". That day people unfriended me on Facebook, that day people insulted me so much I questioned whether they were truly Christians. That day people used my son's condition against me  and said I probably deserve a child with such a condition if I have the nerve to attack their head pastor, their man of God. As I write this article, people I know who attend this very church have decided to cut contact with me just because. I have nothing against the preacher (in fact he is a well to do, upstanding person) but I have everything against that particular sermon I heard that day. It has nothing to do with him or his church members but more to do with what he said and the picture I feel he is painting about people with disabilities and their capabilties.

So this example brings me to my main point: Why are we so quick to defend our pastors yet when they do wrong and we don't want to point it out? They are also human aren't they?

Yes someone actually wrote "no wonder her son has a condition" prior to my post about the sermon. For March, the daily devotional "Our Daily Bread" written by the Scripture Union, is covering the story of Job. If you don't know the story of Job please google it and read. When adversity hit Job, his friends quickly assumed that God was punishing him for his sins and God killed his children for heir wicked ways. Job went through so many trials and tribulations nobody can imagine. But God did not do this to punish him. He was testing Job's faith in him and how strong he was in the Lord. 

I want people to know that, if you see my son's condtion as a punishment for me then you've got problems. You have no idea how much of a blessing he has been to me and my family. The people who think I deserve this, yes I do. God has blessed me beyond measure and has blessed me even more with a child hat has shown me unconditional love and made me see another side of life and another side of society.

The church has never been big on disability. How many pastors have you seen in Ghana with special needs? I didn't say none existed, but I'm asking how many? And what's more, how many exist in the orthodox churches? People with disabilities have existed for centuries it's absolutely nothing new and we thank God that little by little stigma in society towards them is reducing. But if you have men of God not adressing the issue properly and rather increasing the stigma in the society, then we have a huge problem.

A friend Rebecca who also has a daughter with cerebral palsy recommended a book called Ghost Boy by Martin Pistorius for me to read. I decided to google the author and realised that at the age of 12 he fell into a coma and couldn't move or speak (suffered from what they call locked-in syndrome) for about 12/13 years yet he was well aware of his surroundings, he was abused by his carers but had no means of communicating this to his parents, no way of communicating his feelings. To Martin, the statement "Actions speak louder than words" barely applied to him. To him, words meant everything. Especially when for about 12 years he could not communicate with anyone and this left him helpless. The advice Martin leaves on his TedX talk was we should cherish words and that words are a very powerful tool. That said I would expect any influential leader especially religious leaders to take care of their words and avoid loose talk. 

I think we should all be mindful of the things we say and the things we pronounce on our lives. I also urge our dear leaders who have so much influence on society to cut the discrimination tactics and help reduce the stigma we have in society regarding disability. It would be awesome if we had more preachers help address the issue of stigma through their sermons. Who said actions speak louder than words? Words are everything!